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[Simon]

I started this whimsical article some time ago in a spurt of creativity which has now left me.

I would love to see the article concluded so as a competition I would like someone (lots of people) to complete the article; there are no rules per say, simply get your creative juices flowing and reattach your effort (as a completed article) to this thread. When all entries are received (say by the end of August) we'll have a poll and members can vote for the winner. What does the winner get apart from worldwide Kudos and maybe a career in writing for Quality Digest? £50 or $100 whichever is your currency of preference.

Regards,
Simon

 The_Evolution_of_Quality_Man.doc   23KB   80 downloads

The Evolution of Quality Man
By ?

In February 1975 SaferPak commissioned an extensive research project to chart the evolution of ‘Quality Man' from his first manifestation on earth to the present day. Quality Man is tentatively related to Modern Man (Homo Sapiens Sapiens) but with a much more pronounced forehead and tighter buttocks.

The research team was made up of a distinguished group of scientists, palaeontologists, archaeologists, historians, researchers and auditors from the University of Veritas in Berlin. Some 30 years later the results of the research are presented in this ground-breaking paper; never before have we been able to understand so much about the enigma that is ‘Quality Man' (Homo Qualitas).

Quality Man (Homo Qualitas) - 40,000 BC Prove it!

In 1977 during a dig in the Gobi desert eminent archaeologists and leader of the research team David Swan found some simple but deliberately shaped tools of chipped flint with what appeared to be calibration stickers attached to them. However, no records could be provided as evidence to support the theory.

Later that same year in a separate dig in the Sonaro desert Swan and his team found an Acheulean hand ax close to what appeared to be a primitive form of ‘shadow board' fashioned from bone and fur. Later this proved to be nothing more than arbitrary bone and fur; but Swan and his team were getting closer.

For several months during the summer of 1978 the research team concentrated their efforts on a series of caves in the Samaria Gorge in Crete. This area was a know habitat of the Aurignacian culture who began to produce cave art and a variety of specialized tools around 40,000 BC - Swan had a hunch they would find Quality Man here.

In October 1978 after a hot and fruitless summer Kawasaki P. Areto the Japanese Lead Auditor made the breakthrough discovery the team had been searching for in a labyrinth of caves deep within the Samaria gorge.

Areto's narrative of the event:

'Following a 16 metre crawl through a very tight tunnel I entered cave 37f; there was just enough room to stand and I fired up my lamp. When my eyes adjusted to the light I immediately dropped to my knees for I knew this was it, what we had been searching for and what we knew existed. A diagram on the cave walI clearly depicted beasts with images of primitive man in pursuit; underneath there was a chart illustrating the daily kill rate per hunter, an average kill rate of 78% with a standard deviation of 1.6; best of all there was a large ‘up' arrow. It was patent evidence of a primitive quality team briefing or training course for hunters (perhaps an early management review meeting?). Whatever it was it was the absolute evidence we needed to prove that Quality Man first donned his white coat around 40,000 years ago.'